Pain and Suffering

I work overnight and if any of you have ever done the same, you know that it is almost necessary to spark a conversation with a coworker or two to stay awake and pass time. One of my co-workers does this EVERY NIGHT, and he deliberately picks hot-button issues or topics that are sensitive to some to rile us up and kill as much time as he can. Personally, I believe he likes to hear himself talk, as he dominates most of the discussion with his warped, archaic, ex-military officer views, but that’s not the point of this post. He recently stated that his wife feels he is angry/hateful because he expressed to her how he feels the world needs another war. *record scratch* Say what now? Yes, he was disheartened to find out that America would not be going to war because our opponent backed down. Me being me, I looked at him and flatly agreed with his wife. His rationale for wanting the war is this; “Humans define themselves through suffering”. That’s the gist of what he said to me. He made some historical references to previous wars and other tragedies and how he felt that the human population that was left after the war was born anew from the ravages of war.

        I let the conversation die after he explained himself and did not dare pick it back up again. However, my thoughts started to roll and rattle in my own head. Not once did I consider him right on the matter. Who in their right mind would want to add more pain or suffering to the current human experience? Moreover, there is a stark difference between pain and suffering and he feels they are synonymous. Pain is the inevitable and guaranteed adversity we all will have to face in some way or another in this life. The pains of life encourage us to grow by challenging our strength and testing our faith. Pain is a necessity, without pain we really won’t be able to define who we are. Suffering, on the other hand, is the unnecessary extension of pain. Suffering is optional in all forms of the matter. Suffering is submitting to being defeated by one’s pain over and over again. Day in and day out that same pain that could be alleviated and progressively healed is allowed to continue as it was from day one, that is suffering. For those who don’t understand allow me to explain.

        Imagine cooking and you accidentally burn yourself taking a tray out of the oven. Immediately you feel pain, the burned area hurts, there is no denying that. What do you do now? You have the option of abandoning your meal because you burned yourself and you are hurting or angry, you no longer care about the food because in your mind the burn has ruined everything. Or you could also run cool water over the burn and find an ointment or cream to help alleviate the pain, put a band-aid on the burn and continue on with you plan to enjoy the meal you were preparing, the burn was a minor accident. Option one would be choosing to suffer, not only would you be stewing over a burn, you’d also be hungry because you didn’t finish your meal. Get it? Good.

        Many people do not bother to understand the meaning of words, they just use them offhandedly in conversation based on definitions handed down from family members or peers. This lack of knowledge often leads to opinions like the one that sparked my inspiration to write this post. The human experience is defined by pain; it is not defined by suffering. Even when one is inflicted wit pain day in and day out by extraneous forces, suffering is still optional. It may be the optimist and the Christian in me, but I just can’t see myself allowing my circumstance to rule over my daily operation. I’ve done it before and that is why I won’t do it again. No matter how unpleasant a day may be, life is precious and there is always something be thankful for and thus there is a reason to have joy. Too many of us fall victim to our personal pain and suffer far longer than we should. Some people are so far into suffering that they define themselves from the perspective of pain, never seeking to be free because pain has become so intricately woven into every aspect of their being.

        I hope that no one reading this is suffering right now, but if you are believe me when I say there is freedom from suffering if you want it. You don’t have to be defined by your pain; your suffering has plagued you long enough. If you allow yourself the opportunity to heal, your pain will progressively lessen, until one day it won’t be there anymore. I don’t know what you need to do, be it pray, go to church, seek counseling, call a friend or family member, walk away from a relationship, quit your job, or just stand in the mirror and tell yourself, “No more suffering” while “No More Drama” by Mary J Blige plays in the background, but whatever you feel will help you, I implore you to do it TODAY, RIGHT NOW if you can. You don’t deserve to live in that state, and whether or not you believe in God, He never intended for you to live like that either. Know that I’m praying for you and your new life and identity begins with you taking that frightening first step away from your pain.