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Pain and Suffering

I work overnight and if any of you have ever done the same, you know that it is almost necessary to spark a conversation with a coworker or two to stay awake and pass time. One of my co-workers does this EVERY NIGHT, and he deliberately picks hot-button issues or topics that are sensitive to some to rile us up and kill as much time as he can. Personally, I believe he likes to hear himself talk, as he dominates most of the discussion with his warped, archaic, ex-military officer views, but that’s not the point of this post. He recently stated that his wife feels he is angry/hateful because he expressed to her how he feels the world needs another war. *record scratch* Say what now? Yes, he was disheartened to find out that America would not be going to war because our opponent backed down. Me being me, I looked at him and flatly agreed with his wife. His rationale for wanting the war is this; “Humans define themselves through suffering”. That’s the gist of what he said to me. He made s
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It's by God's Grace

I was talking to my Grandma about something that happened on her job and I received a connection to something I’m learning about God. She drives a school bus for a public-school system, so most of her stories are very entertaining, but this one in particular made a lightbulb go off for me. She has an after-school activity she drives in the evenings Monday through Thursday that has about 14 kids on the route. Each year she starts out by driving the route and learns how to conveniently drop the kids off so that their walks aren’t as long from the designated bus stops. She does this because she cares about the safety of the students she transports. After about the second week she starts to asks the kids which corners and streets are best for them, then tailors her route to the convenience of the students so that they have shorter and safer walks home. She even drops some of them off right in front of their homes if she has to pass them to get to a stop on the regular or edited route. Th
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Chase Your Dream, Answer Your Calling

I recently had an epiphany that led me to some hard truths about my life since I graduated from college. I had a plan for what my life would be about now when I first realized that I was going to graduate in summer 2017. In my mind I’d be making more money than I make now, I’d have a different job and be completely happy with my circumstances. Unfortunately, I dropped the ball and didn’t follow through with my plans and intentions for my life. Sometimes we get sidetracked by life and we start to lose sight of our dreams. The way of the world is to provide for yourself and then chase your dreams once you have time/resources. The problem is that having the resources requires time and soon time slips away from you while you try to obtain the resources. In the end many people die with callings unanswered and cosmic work left undone. I just caught myself starting down that road and had to apologize to myself for sleeping on myself for so long. One of my former professors in college to
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Focus on The Lord

            This post is going to encourage some of you. I can state right now that it won’t resonate with many of you, and that’s ok. I had a situation happen at my job that rubbed me the wrong way, and one of my coworkers was putting me on game about some others in our office. While she was doing that someone from another department came by and said something that sat in my spirit. She said, “There’s power in prayer”, which was funny because of why she said it but a few moments after I quoted her because what I had just witnessed. Prayer is how I got to this job in the first place, and also how I know what she said was true. Prayer and faith have brought me very far in my short lifetime, even when it wasn’t my own prayers or faith that God honored. At my old job I dealt with a lot of issues, most dealing with my race and age. The most significant of them I will share with you all here. An older white woman that had been working for the agency for decades kept up a lot of drama an
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Fear Causes Hesitation

When I was younger and I told my Grandma I was afraid of something she would admonish, “God didn’t give you the spirit of fear. He gave you the spirit of power, love and a sound mind.” That is one of the many seeds she planted in me, that have blossomed in my adulthood. Yet even to this day, I still battle with fears in life, one of which is how my writings will be perceived and received by you all. That is one reason why I have been slow at producing content on the blog. I’m a tough critic towards myself, I’ll produce something awesome and will find the smallest reason to negatively criticize it until I don’t want to share it with anyone. From Facebook comments to cooking to these posts, I destroy my creations and discourage myself. Why is that? I can certainly say it is NOT due to childhood trauma, my family was very supportive of everything I have ever said I wanted to do. My home environment was very loving and nurturing, all of my gifts and talents were encouraged and allowed
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Black History Month

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I loved February growing up because I got to learn about Black men and women of the past, and then present, that did great things for the world. Granted I didn’t fully understand why it was so important to teach little kids like me about Black or Negro hstory, but I lcouldn’t learn enough. One of the first books I can remember being given was a book about Black inventors. During Feburary my church/daycare focused heavily on Black men and women who championed the fight for Civil Rights and creating a better tomorrow for me and people like me. It wasn’t until my college days and FAMU that I realized just how beneficial that foundation was. But one thing I struggled with at one point was the length of Black History Month and what it was really meant for.   See I used to look at Black History Month as a time for Black people to be given the spotlight. February was our time to shine and celebrate being Black and beautiful while the rest of the world watched in awe and wonder. Th
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It's Just Emotions...

I recently experienced a pretty tough heartbreak. I’m sure many of you have experienced heartbreak as well in this crazy pursuit of love. It usually goes the same at the beginning, meet someone new, you spend time with the person, talk to them all day and night, maybe even have a lil sex here and there. *shrugs* But then somethings change, the honeymoon phase ends and the person becomes someone you hoped they wouldn’t be. They slowly begin to remind you of your exes, or they turn into everything you would never imagine yourself. The problem is with time comes investment, mostly emotional investment. Those emotions fortify an attachment or even a dependency on the person. The weight of the emotional investment demolishes the urge to leave. You may still see potential, or maybe life circumstances can encourage a change with a little more time. Either way, leaving and letting go is easier said than done, and often happens way too late. Such was my case, I left well after I should have an
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