It's Just Emotions...

I recently experienced a pretty tough heartbreak. I’m sure many of you have experienced heartbreak as well in this crazy pursuit of love. It usually goes the same at the beginning, meet someone new, you spend time with the person, talk to them all day and night, maybe even have a lil sex here and there. *shrugs* But then somethings change, the honeymoon phase ends and the person becomes someone you hoped they wouldn’t be. They slowly begin to remind you of your exes, or they turn into everything you would never imagine yourself. The problem is with time comes investment, mostly emotional investment. Those emotions fortify an attachment or even a dependency on the person. The weight of the emotional investment demolishes the urge to leave. You may still see potential, or maybe life circumstances can encourage a change with a little more time. Either way, leaving and letting go is easier said than done, and often happens way too late. Such was my case, I left well after I should have and I paid a high price for it. I paid in peace of mind, I paid in tears, I paid in wasted time, and most of all I paid by enduring and emotional stronghold I could’ve skipped. I was a slave to my own feeling of love a devotion to someone who verbally professed the same feelings but constantly contradicted those words with their actions. I allowed my feelings to be ignored and toyed with, I let my heart be strung along by a bunch of empty promises all to be neglected and let down over and over. Naturally this kind of experience makes one feel a lot of things, sadness is one of the main feelings. But just because you feel that sadness doesn’t mean you have to dwell there.

With God, and much love and support from my friends I have enjoyed genuine laughter and smiles each day since that tragic day. I made a vow to not allow my emotions to rule over my life. Each day I recognized how I felt, be it sad or angry, but I refused to allow that sadness or anger to spill over into my day. I refused to dwell in those negative emotions when there was even more for me to be happy, joyful, and grateful for. With the dawning of each new day I had life, health, and strength, those three things are enough to be offset any sadness. For all the love I feel I wasted or lost, I could look at one of my friends and see so much more love being poured into me. When I went to work my coworkers kept me laughing at something, and conversations with parents and students often left me beaming with joy. I was surrounded by happiness, love, joy, and peace although inside I was feeling pretty torn up. But embracing the external positivity, overruled the internal turmoil. I say all this to say, the next time you run into trouble in your life, embrace the positivity around you. And of there is no positivity, change your surroundings. It is a given that we will endure tough times, how tough we can never know until it happens. But we don’t have to suffer through them. God has equipped us with everything we will ever need to successfully overcome trials and tribulation, no matter what form they come in. there is someone in your life, or something in your life that you can depend on when times require it. Whether you embrace God’s provision or not is up to you and that will make it or break you during the test. Don’t stop the flow with yourself, as you give also receive so that others can be blessed by giving to you what God ordained for them to give.

Thank you to all my family, friends and even the strangers who blessed me when I needed it most. I pray God blesses you all immensely for the kindness, grace and love you all have shown me.

With all my love,

The Millenial Solomon